I just came back from a 12 mile road march, my feet are swollen, blisters and pain. I finally have a moment before my soldiers beg for me to make the do push ups. I come to this site to see my pappa's picture smile and cry. Don't know why i am writing but my heart is heavy today. On the 20th i am going to finally go to queens and see aunt Eve,Craig,Nikki,& Rara, and finally face the fact that my uncle is gone. Uncle Steven...poppa, i just want to say hello to you again, hear you bullshit with me and tell me how proud you are of me. I want you to make those ox-tails for me, and go to our Italian deli and pig out like we did every time id come down. boy we ate didn't we. I was thinking so much of you while i was marching, i was on like the 6th or 7th mile, pulled ahead of my soldiers so i was alone, and i felt a sadness sweep over me, i was thinking about the 20th and coming down and thought how you wont be there. You wont be calling me a thousand times to tell me to slow down on the road, or to tell me i should have taken route 17 when i complain about the traffic on the G.W. You wont tell not to be stupid to ask if i can stay the weekend, or not to be a slob and mess the room all up. God poppa i miss you. I truly love you like a father, i have been always envious of Craig for that, he had you all the time, and i not as much. I wish i had more time to tell you i loved you when you were still here, i wish i would have answered your call weeks ago, just for that one last i love you. Well i am going to pull myself together now, i am a mess. Got these soldiers to attend to 47 of them now..but it is all good. Love you poppa